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'Twelve Beer Bastard'

On the twelfth day of beer
I said hello to beards
I cantilever here
On the doorstep of a stranger
Who is stranger than myself
Its not a great big deal
'Cos I'm rusting in the sea
But I wonder what they're saying about me?

Oh its suddenly clear
They're telling everyone I'm a terrible man
I thrive on terror
I'm a terrible man
Yes I am

So I rove pell-mell
In my rune infused hell
And theres a mole in my department
And he's spreading pretty vicious fibs
Its no great big shit
'Cos I don't care about it
But I wonder what they're saying about me?

I would go out and beg but somethings happened to my leg
I would go out and drink but somethings stopping me I think
I would, I can't…

So I'm a penny dreadful hack
And I do deserve a slap
Around the fulcrum of my muzzle
Its not a puzzle if your mawkish, man
Its not a great big deal
Since I'm trusting in the wheel
But I wonder what they're saying about me?

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